series review: beneath the attic

alright. 
it's no surprise that i didn't like this series. 
did i read it anyways? yes. 
why? because i can't argue why it's garbage if i have no evidence

beware of spoilers :) 


beneath the attic 

not many of us who are "hardcore" fans were excited for this. he is really beating this horse just to get a paycheck. enough, man. please retire writing under the VCA name. we beg you.

anyways 
i ended up giving this one a 1 star on goodreads.
If it was possible to give a 0, I would have. 
How could anyone enjoy this drivel? An obvious cash-grab with the 40th anniversary of FITA soon after publishing. It felt like he took the outline for Garden of Shadows and just changed (most) of the names and no consideration of the time period.
We learned nothing about the characters and the characters we thought we knew were rewritten into sex-crazed weirdos.A slow build up to nothing happening... all of this could have been 5 chapters, instead of 350 pages that dragged on. The ramblings of Corinne's feelings about sex with her new husband and whether or not they even love each other was slow and difficult to get through.



Such disrespect. 


Out of the attic 

I had no expectations or hopes for this story. 
I find the whole series a waste of time - but, being a vca purist, i had to give it a shot.
It was at least better than the first (though not by much)

I find his writing of a toddler being so evil and rude coming out of left field. This kid is being raised by a sweet nanny, and a decent mother ... and his fathers influence is no where to be found. So why is this kid sucha jerk? The character arc makes no sense.

The author has been hyping this story up for months, but really... I can't figure out why? We all knew she ran off with another man. She seemed quite loving to her kid, well, she tried to be (* see jerk comment above) and her husband is a piece of garbage so I am okay with her running off.

after reading this one, I was curious if we'll be getting different POVs in the next one since, without it, we will have many questions left over (though the author uses that as excuses to butcher our beloved stories)
but we aren't able to find a story synopsis anywhere so us fans are left out. 


also! what does the attic have to do with any of this series? 
insert eye roll here. 


shadows of foxworth  (does not come out til june 2020~. arc was from netgalley) 


honestly sir, find another word! Shadows has been used 4 other times in book titles under the VC andrews name. expand your vocab. (secrets is another one. oy.) 

since the synopsis of the book was not updated on any platform, us readers really have no idea what we are getting into. 
and it is not corinne's story. 
it is her children's. 
conveniently, corinne and her hubby die off in the first few pages. 
oh look, another recycled plot point. 
jeeze. 
it took me a few pages to figure out whose POV i was getting 
and finally, i got it. 
Marlena, corinne's daughter, is telling us how her parents died 
after a wonderful childhood in france 
and now she must go live with an aunt they've never met in america 
(beau's sister) 
with her older brother, the two are off to find out what it means to be a member of the Dawson family in Richmond, VA. where the mysterious Foxworth family lives.
Can you guess the rest of the story? i'm sure you can. 
I did. 

as a "dollanganger" book, this was terrible. 
if he had made it a new series, yes it is all recycled plot but it would've made a good 
first book in a series. 
well, decent, at least. 

that ending was rushed and made no sense 
and while i'm happy malcolm doesn't become a baby daddy to his half sister 
(enough with this story too!) 
it made for a flat ending of happily ever after. 

~~~ 


I do NOT recommend this series to anyone. 
everything under the VCA name until 2004 was great, and since then, the stories have decreased in creativity and excitement 
there was a time when he jumped on the supernatural bandwagon, and we got some interesting stories, but nothing beloved like those original stories. 

if you are interested in the vca fellowship, start at flowers in the attic and work your way through the books following publication order. that's really the best way to see the progression of the writing and characters*.

*i mostly say this because if you read My Sweet Audrina, and then Whitefern you will be very, very confused. wait 40 years (or longer). same with the diary series and now the above garbage. wait at least 40 years. i promise you, you'll thank yourself. 



i am also happy to report i got these off netgalley/the library and spent no money. 
i would be returning them. 

Review: Keepers of the Lost Cities

mmmkay so this is going to be a series review 

because there are so many books 
and while it's been a wonderful year reading these 
breaking them down can get tricky without spoilers 


so, the series goes: 

Keeper of the Lost Cities, 
Exile
Everblaze
Neverseen
Lodestar
Nightfall
Flashback
Legacy
(book 9)

it starts off with our Sophie. 
Sophie is about to find out that her life is not what she thought it was

that she is not who she thought she was 

she doesn't belong on earth, among the humans 
since she is a telepath, something she has never been able to understand about herself 
she then finds out her "home" is another place 
and no humans allowed. 

but, she isn't a human. 
she was an experiment 
and Sophie and her friends are about to find out the mysteries surrounding that 
while also trying to figure out the mysteries of their world 
and those who inhabit it 


Each book, of course, takes you deeper and deeper into the story 
of how and why Sophie was created 
and to what end 

she's a child pawn in a game of adults 
but her and the gang find the strength and the courage to take matters into their own hands 



I saw the spines of this on insta, i believe, and fell in love with the colour scheme. then i read the post about what the series was about. 

i don't remember the first time i picked up book 1, i think it was a library book, but quickly i was putting them all on hold until i could buy them 
(because i wanted the HC for the prettiness) 
and when i get one, it went right to the top of my pile
needing to know what was going to happen next 

each book is few hundred pages (the later ones reaching 600+) 
while taking the reader on a rollercoaster of events, of emotion, of injuries, of family and loss, of family and gain, of best friends and, usually, laughter. 

written as a middle grade book, the writing is very easy to get through and understand 
yet Messenger tackles mature themes - like mental health - and does it in a elegant way that really makes the reader think about the characters and themselves. 

it's a beautful story that keeps the readers hooked from page one 
anyone who likes the Harry Potter or Pendragon arc (chosen one, magical worlds, best friends, love triangles etc) needs to grab this one asap 
grab a cup of your favourite drink
and clear your schedule 

ALSO 

i am pleased to announce that Legacy isn't the end! 
which i thought it was 
and when i read the acknowledgements, i saw that it had a major cliffhanger 
so ugh 
but YAY 
because I need more of these stories in my life 

Review: A Court of Thorns and Roses SERIES

A Court of Thorns and Roses
A Court of Mist and Fury
A Court of Wings and Ruin

Sarah J Maas

*Plot Spoilers as you go onto each book. Nothing major :)

Book 1: A Court of Thorns and Roses 

Feyre and her family have been poor ever since her father lost their wealth in some bad trading years ago. The bad deal resulted in her fathers injury, and since then Feyre has been the one to take charge of caring for the family. Not to mention she made a death-bed promise to her mother.

Feyre lives in a world that is divided by Mortal and Fae. This divide is by The Wall that runs through the woods where Feyre hunts.

When Feyre goes hunting and kills a wolf, she's unaware of the Fae Treaty that states she must pay for the life she took with her own. Because the wolf was Fae.

When a Beast comes to take her beyond The Wall to his home to live out her sentence, Feyre is unsure what lies ahead for her but all she is concerned with is getting home to her sisters.

Tamlin and his staff live in what is called the Spring Court.
They have also been under a spell (aka a curse) for the last 49 years and have been sentenced to wear masks over their faces, which are irremovable.

Tamlin quickly becomes protective over Feyre but it soon grows to love. When her life is threatened by the Evil one who cursed Tamlin and his court, Tamlin will do anything to save her.

But she will do anything to save him.

Even if it means going deep into Fae territory to save Tamlin and his court, knowing that she is a mere mortal and everyone is telling her to turn around.



The world building of this series is breathtaking. I was loosely aware it was a "Beauty and the Beast" type story arc, but once the history got explained, and I saw the story unfold between them - you cannot be anything but hooked.  Such a rich back-story and history to the characters and the land and it grows with each page.

The characters themselves vary for me. I love the Fae (who doesn't love a good Fae story) but Feyre is wishy-washy for me. She seems strong at one point, and weak the next. Not for what she goes through, but just in her emotions.

Either way, a powerful beginning.
 

Book 2: A Court of Mist and Fury

Feyre survived.

She rescued Tamlin, she faced Amarantha.
She died.
and came back.

Now that she and Tamlin are back in the Spring Court, the curse broken and engaged to be married, life can go on.

However, Feyre is struggling with the Change that happened to her while she was in Amarantha's lair.
and no one wants to help her with it.

On the day of her wedding, she knows she is not ready to go through with it and with the help of her panic attack, the deal she made with Rhysand while she was imprisoned is now due.

One week with him, in the Night Court, every month.

Tamlin is furious with him (weren't we all?) but a deal is a deal, and a bond like that cannot be broken so Feyre is whisked away to be everything and anything Rhys wants for one whole week.

This continues for a few months.

The struggle Feyre is going through to become herself again continues to get worse and worse as Tamlin continues to be blind to it. In his effort to save her, he ends up ruining her ... to the point where she begs to be saved.

Rhys obliges.

Feyre is now living in the Night Court, with a note sent back to Tamlin to back off.

Feyre makes friends with Rhys' inner circle of comrades, and even joins them in their plans for the impending war. But first, they have a task they must accomplish. A task that involves the Prison, a cauldon, and Feyre's sisters.

A task that Tamlin is working on as well, but not for the same reason.



THAT ENDING WAS SO #$(@(!% THAT I THREW MY BOOK! I could not believe the events that kept unfolding as I devoured this one in a matter of hours one morning. Maas just keeps the hits coming and coming until there is nothing left of us readers. THE FEELS, OMG!

The more I read about this world, the more I want to crawl into it.
I mumbled to my husband that he needs a pair of wings and he thought I meant that's what I wanted for dinner that night. Little does he know ... *fangirl sigh*

The characters deepen in this one. Feyre is still on the fence with me, and I want to hate Rhys and love Tamlin but ... they are both making this very difficult. Just .. I ... UGH!

Honestly, all you want is more more more.
*fangirling for days*

Why I put this series off for so long I'll never understand.
but I am not sure I could have handled waiting in between for each book.
my goodness those endings ...

and all that sexytime in the middle; hello hotness (no wonder Rhys' temporary last name is HotPants); ou lala #wingspan

 

Book 3: A Court of Wings and Ruin

To save her friends, and her sisters, and everything she holds dear, Feyre becomes quite the actress.
She is back in Tamlin's court in hopes of finding out his plans to send back to the Night Court.

Her Court.

Hybern's war is getting closer and closer. With the help of the Cauldron, he has become the most powerful force the Courts have ever faced. But is their combined strength enough to save the Fey and Human world from total destruction? Only time will tell.

The last half of this book is really all war.
Lots of blood shed.
Lots of loss.

HAVE KLEENEX ON YOUR PERSON AT ALL TIMES FOR THIS ONE!

We get some character back-stories and honest confessions as we go through the trials this group faces. (Some are more shocking than others. Some make perfect sense. Some are just plain MEAN!)

I cannot get too into the plot without spoilers galore so ... I'll stop with that. Trust in Maas; she does not let us fans down with these characters and the events.

and thankfully, this isn't the end of this wonderful world.

I want Tamlin and Lucien's perspective on the story though. Hopefully we'll get novellas (that turn into full-on installments cough cough, wink wink) about these characters too.

Feyre's character finally worked me over on this one. She was much more strong than she was in the first two books (not that she wasn't strong for surviving, but she was a bit flaky in the beginning for me).


Overall, an AMAZING series. There are really no words for how much I loved it. I saw everyone excited over ACOWAR and so I jumped on the bandwagon that week (bought all 3 a few days after it came out, and the series was devoured by the following weekend) and I'm so very glad I did - so thank you to everyone on Twitter who was fangirling about it. Without you, I doubt I would have picked it up. and I would have missed out on one fantastic adventure.

 

Review: Iron Fey part 2

- The Iron Fey: Call of the Forgotten
Julie Kagawa

*Beware of spoilers as you get further into the series

The Lost Prince 

Ethan Chase has been able to see Them since he was kidnapped at the age of 4. All his life he has battled against them, trying to keep them at bay - but for the life of him, no pun intended, they will not leave him alone.

Acting out because of it, he has gotten himself a bit of a reputation of a badass. Which made him a loner. He's not complaining (too much) because it's less people to worry about saving about from Them.

Then he gets transferred to a new school. It's his last shot at a a "fresh shot".  In walks Mackenzie. The nonstop little blonde bundle of girl who won't leave Ethan alone for an interview for the school paper.

Ethan also makes a friend of sorts, Todd, who all of the sudden goes missing. Todd can also see Them so when Todd goes missing Ethan has to do the one thing he swore he'd never do: he has to contact the Fey.

On his hunt for Todd into the Nevernever, adventure meets him and tries to suffocate him. With Kenzie by his side, and the unlikely of help from some familiar characters, the group is off.

With new friends, new enemies and new threats to the Nevernever, Ethan and the gang must figure out what has been forgotten.

An intriguing take on what has been an amazing series so far. I like that we get more of "the next generation" if you will, but I do wish we got to see Meghan as Queen. Kenzie and Ethan's story pulls you in though and has it's own twists and turns to keep you deep in the jungles of the Courts. 

The Iron Traitor 

I had a 3 hour break between work appointments and read this in one sitting. in a college cafe.
and threw it down (pretty hard) once I read that last page only to have everyone look over at me.
and let me tell you, totally worth it!
This series just gets better and better.

Okay so, after the mess at New York, Ethan is back at home trying to be as normal as possible (I said trying) but then he finds out Kenzie is in the hospital - just weak from their adventure - but her father blames him and demands these two stay away from each other.

Oh, and then Megan shows up at his house.
Keirran is missing.
Ethan hasn't seen him but might have an idea where he is. He wants no part of it though.

On their first official date, Ethan brings Kenzie over... only to find Annwyl in his room. Keirran is in trouble and it's because of her. She is fading and he has gone to find an impossible cure.

Nonstop and full of wit and love and battles; absolutely perfect! Not enough Puck in it for me, but what can you do? Impossible to put down but the title of "traitor" is well placed. My goodness Kagawa knows how to keep you coming back for more. 

Iron Warrior 

Continuing right from where we leave Ethan in Iron Traitor, we are thrown right into the middle of absolute hysteria. Keirran has betrayed everyone he knows and loves for the sake of love. Oh, and a Prophecy that needs fulfilling.
Only problem is that there is a point of no return and it's up to Ethan, Kenzie, Razor and some unlikely characters to see if they can stop him from reaching that point.

Ethan and Kenzie are one of my favourite ships! Their relationship is similar to that of Ash and Meghan; intensity and true love.  The overall writing in the story (and series overall) never falters or falls below wonderful at any point. Kagawa has you gripping the pages from start to finish as you race through Faery with the gang to see what happens next. Twists and turns left, right and center continue right to the end where they are wrapped up beautifully. You will wish the stories never end.

This is one series that won't be Forgotten.

Review: Iron Fey 1-3

You know those stories that everyone is reading... and it sounds really interesting, so you put it on the #TBR list. And it stays there for a while. Then you finally get around to picking it up and you think "why did I want so long!?" This is one of those series.

The Iron Fey Series by Julie Kagawa

*Spoilers

The Iron King

From the first page you are taken in to a world of wonder and awe, of creatures and characters and of lands unknown.

Meghan Chase is turning 16. All she wants is to hang out with her best friend, Robbie, play with her German Shepherd Beau, and get her licence. Fate has other plans for her. When her younger brother Ethan is taken, Meghan must face her destiny and travel into the land of Fey to rescue him.

Kagawa does an amazing job of connecting the story of the famous Fey from medieval literature and Shakespeare's' plays: King Oberon, Queen Titania, the jester Robin "Puck" Goodfellow and Queen Mab. 

What Meghan is about to learn is that she is the daughter of Oberon. Which makes her half-fey, and a child of the Summer Court.

Queen Mab rules over the Winter Court. After an attack on the court, her son Ash is ordered to go after Meghan and bring her to Mab. Meghan agrees to go with him on one condition: he helps rescue Ethan first. He agrees, and the two of them, with Puck and a sarcastic yet helpful cat name Grimalkin trailing up the rear. set off. 

Who are the Iron Fey? The Nevernever, Fey,  "fairy land" or whatever name you choose to say is created by humans. With the creation of technology, us humans now dream about iron. These dreams led to the formation of a new species of Fey.

Their leader is the one who has Ethan.

An intriguing opening to what is an wondrous adventure. The tests of family, friendship and love will be tested. I only have one thing to say: I do believe in fairies, I do, I do. 

The Iron Daughter 

After being held in the Winter Court as a prisoner, once again Meghan is off to try and save the land of Fey.

The Scepter of the Seasons is stolen.  Oberon is blamed, but Meghan knows the truth.

Her, Ash and Puck yet again set off. A furry feline at their feet (not that he is ever at their feet; always hiding, that one). This time, they seek help from Leanansidhe. She lives in a limbo of sorts, and offers to help.

After Ash is taken, and being controlled by Iron, Meghan must decide on how to save both her heart and her land at the same time. With a new friend, she has the manpower (excuse the pun) but she does not know if she is brave enough.

Another adventure through the Nevernever, which leaves the reader wanting more and more. Honestly, you cannot read the pages fast enough. The author paints a breathtaking picture of the world of Fey, with characters that seep into your heart.  I would read this before bed, and dream about adventures with them. (Best part of reading!)

The Iron Queen 

What starts off as a trip to get a memory about her father back (or rather, the man she thought was her father) turns into the third installment of Meghan's adventure through the Nevernever.

The Iron Fey are getting stronger. Each day they take over more of the land. Winter and Summer have made a temporary truce to try and fight them, but the only one who can handle the iron is Meghan.

With Ash and Puck gifted special amulets to keep the iron at bay for as long as possible, they vow to help Meghan as best as they can.

Back through the land they travel to find the False King and kill him.  The iron is strong. It's effect on Ash and Puck is something they try and hide from Meghan but she is not stupid.

The trio call in favors, made new vows and rely on friends to help get them to their goal. Can Meghan finally be brave enough to accept her destiny and do what must be done, even if it goes against her heart?

Another long journey. This time we get more emotion than we have before, and we feel for Meghan and the decision she must make. Your fate vs. your heart. It is not an easy choice. The right decisions never are. 

This series is shaping up to be a heartwarming and adventurous story. I still cannot believe I waited so long to read it; I cannot put them down. The writing is descriptive in all the right places, the dialogue is witty and realistic. The characters are those you can relate to. You can see the triangle happening with our Heroes, and you cannot help but feel for each player as they fight for one another each step of the way.  What the next stories bring only time will tell.

Personally, I am all for #teamash 

Review: Adare Series

My Sweet Audrina and Whitefern

My Sweet Audrina (MSA)
V.C. Andrews

Audrina always knew she was second best. Second best to the First, to the original, perfect Audrina.

Audrina Adare grew up knowing she was born with a purpose. Her parents were trying to replace the daughter they lost. When her sister Audrina (the first) was killed in the woods, her parents felt such a loss at their beloved daughter that they decided to replace her. Audrina knew she could never be like her sister. She could never be so perfect, try as she might.

She lived with her parents Damian and Lucietta, her younger sister Sylvia, her aunt Ellsbeth and her cousin Vera. They all lived in her mother’s family home, which was called “Whitefern”.

At 9 years old, Audrina never felt right. It was difficult, always being told about the first Audrina. The perfect Audrina. Her father, Damian, was convinced that Audrina could channel her sister and be just like her. He forces Audrina to sit in a rocking chair, and meditate (for lack of better word), trying to connect with the First Audrina’s spirit.

There is also one rule in this house: Do not go into the woods. That is where Audrina was killed. They are not safe.

But when Audrina meets the new neighbours, Arden Lowe and his mother Billie, she cannot help but be drawn to them. Finally, people who seem to accept her for who she is: Audrina. Just Audrina; no “second” in front of, no mocking, no judgement.  The Lowe’s seem to have their own secrets though: Why doesn’t Billie ever come out of the house? Why is Arden so anxious to get close to Audrina?

and secrets always come out in the end.

A dark, twisted story with secrets around every corner. I won’t give too much away, so this is a very basic outline of the story. Originally written by V.C. Andrews herself, she does a wonderful job of portraying the lengths people will go to protect their family members. The characters are described so in-depth that you have no problem envisioning them as you eagerly turn the pages and fall deeper and deeper into the web of lies, betrayal and secrets that hold this fragile world together.  The shocking twist at the end will have you in awe and disbelief, and possibly rereading in order to pick up on all the nuances throughout the story.

I personally love that the ending is vague, it leaves it to the reader to imagine what could happen next. One of my favourites! You will not be disappointed.  5/5 stars!

*There is a Lifetime adaptation of this book.  Strongly suggest reading the book first as the movie focuses on main points only, and leaves a lot out (character development and whole characters). Plus Spoilers! 

Whitefern
V.C. Andrews (written by the ghostwriter: Andrew Neiderman)

*Spoilers for those who haven’t read this or MSA

The highly anticipated sequel, published 34 years later, but set only 12 years in the story’s future.

Audrina and Arden are married. Sylvia has grown into her own person, albeit still needing help now and then.

Damian is on his deathbed. It come to pass that he has left the majority to his company to Audrina, not Arden as it originally seemed. Arden is not happy and demands Audrina sign over her authority.

As the story progresses, Arden turns into a sort of Damian-esque character. The word that comes to mind is “brute”. He is rough, quick to anger and just downright mean to Audrina. Most of this is due to their inability to conceive a child.

While Audrina is busy being a housewife, and teaching Sylvia how to take care of herself and learn new skills, it seems that besides Arden’s new attitude, Whitefern is no longer the dark and dreary place it once was.

However, Audrina cannot figure out her father’s motives for giving her majority control over the business. She refuses to sign it over to Arden, which just irritates him more.

Then one day, Sylvia announces “baby’s coming”. This throws Audrina’s world upside down, and it looks as if Audrina will never be free of the curse that is on the house.

More secrets, a deeper web of betrayal and the whole truth finally revealed!

A very unique way to continue the story so many years later. Predictable at times, but overall, a more “classic” V.C. Andrew-style story than what us fans have been reading lately. Although, any hardcore VCA fan can tell it has been written by the ghostwriter, just by the style of writing and a few timeline mistakes. 

For this particular reader, the characters didn’t grow up to be who I thought they would be.  Like I mentioned in my review of My Sweet Audrina, I liked how the original story ended and could imagine what happened to the characters in my own way, but I do believe Virginia would be proud of this story-line.

Review: #splintered series

A G Howard’s Spintered Series left me in feels for days!

A beautiful link to the original classic story of Alice in Wonderland. We follow the story of Aly, a direct descendant from Alice Liddell who was the little girl who first fell down the rabbit hole. She is forever a part of Wonderland’s story; it’s past, it’s present… and if all goes according to one Moth’s plans, its future as well.

Aly's mother is in a mental instituation, for speaking to bugs and who knows what else. When Aly starts to do it too, everything goes a little crazy. Jeb, her best friend, tries to help keep her grounded... but when the man from her dreams comes into her reality, she needs to test her wings. Wonderland is in danger, and only Aly can help save it. 

Aly’s story is one of love, of loss, of tragedy, of family, of unrequited love… of bugs… of chaos, and madness and the beloved characters that we thought we knew.  There are so many things going on all at once but it is done so beautifully that you cannot help but be in awe.

It does have a twisted side, and it is definitely not the Disney version we all have come to know, but Howard paints us a stunning setting with these deep characters that you just want to reach through the 

book and hug. Hard. Forever.

I’ll admit that my eyes worked their magic first. I could not get the covers out of my head… and finally, I picked up the first two books (Splintered and Unhinged). Then waited in agony for the third to come 

out in paperback.

That’s when I found there was a fourth!

I caved on Untamed and bought the hardcover. This is a collection of short stories to wrap up the series nicely. I read the third (Ensnared) and Untamed in one sitting, back to back… and then proceeded to sit there and cry for about an hour. I then had to go find my husband because I needed a hug.

#teamjeb for life! 

The writing is wonderful, the story is tragic yet magical... you are drawn in from the first sentence, and you will not be able to put them down. 5/5 all around! I will be falling down this rabbit hole often. 

Review: Confessions of Georgia Nicolson

Confessions by Georgia Nicolson
Louise Rennison

* It is with a heavy hand I type this. Louise passed February 29th, 2016. Her books are ones I pick up often, as the world she shares with her fans is one of humor, love, friendship... and the struggles of being a teenager. She will be forever missed <3  *



Georgia Nicolson is a 14-year old girl living in England. With her best friends (the ace gang) at her side, she makes her way in the world as she deals with school (staglag 14), the many many strange boys, the snogging scale (oo-er), Buddha, baby jesus, her scottish-wildcat Angus, her baby sister Libby (who's as loony as a loon on loon tablets!) and everything in between!

With a Muti and Vati who don't just give her money and leave her be, she uses a diary as a way of keeping track of her ever-crazy life.  I warn you now, do not read these in public - you will be laughing way too much (possibly away on a fast camel but who is to know?)

Who will it be: Robbie the Sex God, Massimo the Italian Stallion, or Dave the Laugh?

Will her nose ever get smaller? Will her nunga-nungas?

Will Jas always be obsessed with Voles?

Once you open "Angus, Thongs, and Full Frontal Snogging", you will not be able to stop. Georgia's madness lures you in. I guarantee that you will start talking like her. It's even educational - you learn some French and German (knutschen is snogging!) and about Vikings, and how to do sticky eyes - just beware of those boy entrancers... 

Put on your Viking horns and saddle up (oo-er!) for an excellent read that will have you laughing as much as a laughing thing laughs. 

5/5 pants!

*Excerpt from "On the bright side, I'm now the GF of a sex god":  

Review: Harry Potter Series

Deciding to review a whole series can be difficult. I will break it up book by book, but first, some background info: 

READ AT YOUR OWN RISK! There are many spoilers if you have not read the books! (and no, they are NOT the same as the movies :) )  There is a lot I do not speak about, as the books do contain a lot of subplots (DADA teachers, S.P.E.W, relationships with Harry and those around him, W and W products etc) so I just give surface summaries.

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Before we get into the books, here is the cliff notes version of what happened pre-book 1:  Wizards walk among us. Us non-magic folks are called "muggles". Little do us muggles know that many moons ago, Harry Potter (HP) who, when just a tyke, was sought out by Lord Voldemort. The most evil, yet powerful, wizard of all time. We find out the who/what/why later on.... but the gist is that Harry would be his downfall and Voldy wanted to avoid that. Certainly a powerful wizard could override a 1-year old? When Voldemort arrives at Harry's house, some kind of force stops him from killing Harry. The spell backfires, in a way, and Voldemort flees. Now orphaned, Harry is saved by Dumbledore. Albus Dumbledore is also a powerful wizard, but on the side of good. Dumbledore is the Headmaster at Hogwarts: School of Witchcraft and Wizardry (located in Britain) and he realizes that a boy who just stopped the most evil wizard of all time would not have a normal upbringing. He then decides to have Harry's Aunt and Uncle raise him, until it is time to introduce him to his rightful place in the wizarding world. 

We learn all this over the course of the books, but it helps to know this before getting into each book as the rest of the time I will be writing as if you understand the wizard lingo. 

Book 1: HP and the Philosopher's/Sorcerer's Stone: 

"Mr and Mrs Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much..."  - J. K Rowling 

Harry Potter has been living with his mother's sister, Petunia, her husband, Vernon, and their son, Dudley, his whole life. He is treated as a slave of sorts, and is forced to sleep under the stairs. They care nothing for Harry, but respect Dumbledore's orders to raise him, albeit with bare minimum necessities. When he is about to turn 11, he begins to receive mysterious letters. Vernon will not let Harry have these letters, so the family goes to a remote location where the mail cannot be delivered. On Harry's 11th birthday, we meet Hagrid. Hagrid works at Hogwarts, and has been sent to collect Harry and bring him to school, much to his aunt and uncle's displeasure. 

As they go through the school year, With his friends, Ron and Hermoine, by his side Harry learns about the wizarding world, while taking classes and meeting all the other students and staff. 

You'll find each book has some sort of conflict, as you can see from the titles. For this book, there is a stone hidden in the castle that is coveted by many. The Philosopher's Stone is used to create the Elixar of Life - meaning one can never die. Voldemort is still out there, not dead yet not fully alive, and is trying to use different methods of getting the stone to "resurrect" himself. The trio immerse themselves in helping with protecting Voldy from finding the stone, only to be faced with obstacles and trials that they themselves may not be ready for. 

This is a wonderful beginning to a wonderful story. Written for a younger audience (although not that that should detour your from picking it up!) it sets up a captivating world of magic and intrigue. Harry's perspective on things is witty, and young at heart. You can tell it is the beginning of a beautiful coming of age story. This reader gets on the Hogwarts train as often as she possibly can.    

Book 2: HP and the Chamber of Secrets 

This books opens with Harry waiting for the end of summer vacation so he can finally go back to Hogwarts school. He is disappointed with his summer, as he thought his best friends would have messaged him like they promised - but he has heard from no one since he left school. 

One night, his uncle has invited a special guest over for dinner. Since Harry is now aware of his magical abilities, his family has been nicer to him and Harry now has a bedroom. This is where Harry is forced to stay while Vernon and Petunia entertain.  However, Harry finds a guest in his room. Dobby the House Elf has come to warn Harry Potter that he should not be returning to Hogwarts this year, as Dobby is aware of terrible things that will be happening at the school (due to House Elf law, he is unable to tell Harry what these things are).  Dobby causes some problems with Vernon's guest, and of course, Harry is blamed. He puts bars on Harry's window in order to keep him at home. Ron and his brothers come and "kidnap" him (with magical means of course) and Harry stays at Ron's home, the Burrow, for the rest of the holiday. 

When they get to the school, Harry realizes that Dobby was right. Strange things begin happening and most of them directed at Harry. In this book we learn more about Harry and the similarities he shares with Voldy, such as being a Parseltongue, meaning one can speak to snakes.  

In this book, the conflict is that the Chamber of Secrets has been opened. This has been a school legend for many years but no such "chamber" has ever been found. Eventually, a student is taken into said chamber as it does really exist. Once again, the trio races in to try and help save the day.. but this time, a student's life hangs in the balance. 

This is my least favourite book... mainly because there are a lot of spiders, but I find it is also a bit boring. It is still as wonderfully written as the first, and it cannot be skipped because there is information pertaining to the rest of the series and the overall story.... but I find that if you read it once, and you can remember the main plot points, it doesn't need to be read again. (even though I have read it at least twice...)  Dobby plays a big role in this book, so I read it just for him. He ends up working in the Hogwarts kitchen after everything is said and done. 

Book 3: HP and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Once again, we open to Harry eagerly awaiting the end of summer vacation in order to get back to school - what a great role model for kids! 

After a mishap of blowing up Vernon's sister at dinner one night, Harry runs away. Where? Well, he doesn't know exactly. Sitting on a curb, a big black dog is about to attack... when all of the sudden, the knight bus comes along. The knight bus is for stranded witches or wizards. Harry boards and it takes him to the pub connecting the muggle world to the wizarding one.  During this time, Harry learns that the mass murderer that has been on the lose, much to Harry's surprise, is after him. 

Sirius Black has been in Azkaban prison for 12 years for the murder of his friend, Peter Pettigrew. Sirius was also friends with Harry's parents - James and Lily, and the new teacher at Hogwarts, Lupin. Word on the street is that Sirius was a minion of Voldy's and he is out to finish what Voldy couldn't. 

This book is one of the best in the series. We really get more into the different creatures that roam the magical world, more spells, more about Harry's parents and the relationship of the marauders, and more of the town of Hogsmead that is nearby the school. There are surprises at every turn and it keeps you at the edge of your seat until the very last page. 

Book 4: Goblet of Fire 

This book opens with Harry going to stay at the Burrow, in order to join the Weasley family at the Quidditch World Cup. After the match, the park is attacked by Death Eaters (Voldy's followers) and a House Elf named Winky is blamed for casting the dark mark in the sky, even though Harry tries to explain that he saw a man do it. 

When everyone gets to Hogwarts, Dumbledore announces that this year the school will play host to two other magical schools in order to host the Triwizard Tournament. This is a famous, yet highly dangerous tournament in which three schools will have one representative to compete in three different tasks. The winner will receive the Triwizard Cup.  The champions are chosen by putting their names in the Goblet of Fire. This Goblet has magical abilities to judge the name dropped in, and will choose who it deems fit.  At the choosing ceremony, the three champions are chosen.... and then, the Goblet spits out one more name: Harry Potter. 

Harry is legally obligated to participate as per the rules of the Goblet. The school thinks he tricked the Goblet somehow, and even his friends are suspicious of him. 

The tasks that the champions must go through are life or death. With dragons, baths, mermaids (that do not look like Ariel), mazes, and threats from strangers Harry is on his own this time with his most dangerous year at school yet. 

A fantastic book that really sets the tone for the rest of the series. The climax of the story is the catalyst that sets off a whirlwind of events that Harry and his friends must somehow endure and come out fighting. This is *not* like the movie, we see a lot more of the school (ie. the kitchen where Dobby and now Winky are working), of characters that do not appear in the movies etc. Some fans do not like this movie, but the book has SO much more in it. Fantastically written, the reader is glued to the pages. My advice? Keep the Kleenex close and the lights on. 

Book 5: HP and the Order of the Phoenix 

After the puddle of feels we were left in at the end of GOF, OOTP does not start off much happier... Harry's 5th year at Hogwarts is about to begin. This summer vacation has been a difficult one though. His dreams are filled with thoughts of Cedric, of Voldermort, of everything that has happened and the possibilities of what is to come.... 

Dudley does not help, as he is constantly teasing Harry for screaming out in the night. One day, while the two of them are walking home, everything goes cold. Dark. Like you'll "never be cheerful again". Two Dementors, guards who protect Azkaban Prison, attack Harry and Dudley. Harry manages to fight them off with his Patronus Charm and he brings Dudley home. 

The Ministry of Magic has a trace on all underage wizards and witches though. They see that Harry has done magic in the presence of a muggle, and have him expelled from Hogwarts. 

Make sure you go to the gym for a few months and lift some weights before getting into this book. It is the heaviest one in the series, and we all know the awkward positions we get into while reading... your arms are going to hurt!  We get A LOT of information in this book. Harry goes through a lot of milestones, realizations, and the whole wizard community is at the cusp of war. With Harry in the middle of it.  With so much going on, the Ministry of Magic feels it necessary to intervene in Hogwarts. They send over a representative, Dolores Umbridge... I don't think anyone has ever hated a character so much... except maybe Joffery, from Game of Thrones, but I digress... 

Umbridge has the authority from the Minister of Magic to do as she sees fit to keep Hogwarts in shape. She then takes it upon herself to set up many new rules, including the banning of all recreational sports, and conducts a review of all current staff. She even fires one of the teachers, but Dumbledore will not let her banish the teacher from the grounds. 

Dumbledore has been busy in this book. He is the leader of the "Order of the Phoenix". A secret group whose mission is to fight against Voldemort and his followers. Dumbledore has also discussed with Harry the connection between him and Voldy. With Voldemort back in power, Harry must learn to close the connection that the two of them share with the practice of Occlumency - but Snape is to be the one to teach him this, and Harry and Snape have never got along. Harry wishes it was Dumbledore teaching him, but Dumbledore seems to be keeping his distance from him and Harry can't figure out why. 

This book is full of twists and turns and surprises.... and tears. (I'm telling you, keep that kleenex around for the rest of the series!) Harry begins to really grow up and deal with real world events. After Diggory, the concept that this is *war* and war means people die really hits home. I cannot tell you this has a happy ending, but I can tell you that everything happens for a reason. The writing, the history, the emotion that you get in this book is real, raw, powerful and it really envelops you. The movie captures maybe 40% of this book, so I strongly suggest curling up with some coffee - to keep you awake, maybe an extra box of kleenex, and get your read on!

Book 6: HP and the Half-Blood Prince 

For this one, get a few more boxes of kleenex. Many people I know threw the book across the room near the end... so be warned!  This is my favourite one though! 

Harry Potter receives a letter from Dumbledore, saying he will be calling on him at his aunt and uncles house and to please be ready to leave for the rest of the summer. Harry does not fully believe this letter, but lo and behold, Dumbledore shows up. He sits down with Vernon and Petunia and explains that wizards come of age at 17 so for one more summer Harry will need to return to Privet Drive. By returning each summer, the protection spell that Lily Potter cast on Harry when he was a baby will remain in tact as long as Harry calls his aunt's house "Home". 

Harry and Dumbledore then set off to find a new teacher for the upcoming year. Horace Slughorn, a retired Potions teacher has been in hiding, but Dumbledore has a way of finding people. When they find him, Harry is able to convince Slughorn to come back. Since Harry has been coined "The Boy who Lived" and Slughorn likes to make friends with famous people in order to have a cornucopia of connections, Dumbledore had a feeling Slughorn would want to have Harry as one of his "trophies".

The rest of the summer is uneventful while at Ron's house. When the kids get back to Hogwarts, their schedules have changed slightly. they are now on course for future jobs and Ron wants to join the Quidditch team this year. Harry and Ron end up taking Potions, in the hopes of one day becoming an Auror (dark wizard catcher).  Because this was a last minute decision, the boys did not buy the right textbook for the class. There are extras in the cupboard: a beat up one, and a decent one. Harry ends up with the beat up on, who's previous owner was called "the Half-Blood Prince". 

Dumbledore also realizes that keeping his distance last year did not help Harry in any way. This year, he has decided to have special lessons with Harry and begins showing Harry memories pertaining to Voldemort's childhood and how he became what he became.  After seeing how Voldemort was as a child, then known as Tom Riddle, and as a student in Hogwarts, Harry and Dumbledore are able to hypothesize on what is to come. There is a memory that has been tampered with, and it belongs to Slughorn. It is up to Harry to get the proper memory in order for him and Dumbledore to have all the pieces of their puzzle. Once they have all these pieces, they can focus on how to destroy Voldemort. 

This book focuses on the fact that the characters are teenagers. The teenage angst, romance, awkwardness... plus all the usual issues with being in school is written so wonderfully that you cannot help but fall in love with them all over again.  As we are almost at the end, you can see a build up of suspense. There are many questions the reader is left with at the end of the book, but after you are done crying, you just want to pick it up and start from the beginning again.  

Book 7: HP and the Deathly Hallows 

The end is here. Oh, the feels.... 

Harry knows what must be done. With Ron and Hermoine at his side, he is as ready as he is going to be... 

One of the most anticipated books of my generation and it was read in just a few hours... (Gosh, I remember going on the bus to get this one. Hard cover at first, but it didn't match the rest of my series, so I exchanged it eventually for a paperback...)

Everything is answered in this one. The trio is thrown into their adventure after the Death Eaters overthrow the ministry, and attempt to hunt down Harry at the Burrow. They jump from place to place hunting down Horocruxes as best as they can and figuring out how to destroy them. Destroy them, and one destroys Voldemort.  They have help in the most unexpected places... and after travelling all over England, they end up back at Hogwarts. Finally, the battle between good and evil can commence. 

A masterpiece. The long awaited ending to a 10-year series, fans everywhere fight along side Harry until the very end. 

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The Harry Potter fandom is one that will never die. This is a story that will stay with you forever, and you will always remember how you got into the series, you will be proud of your house (you can be sorted on pottermore.com), and you will throw in references on a daily basis. always. You will defend your ships, and OTPs and will have your minutes of silence on May 2 every year. You will watch the movie marathons on repeat, you will let your children read them, if you're in a reading slump - pick up a HP book...  you will gladly discuss them if asked - even if not asked. It is just one of those stories. It is a classic. It is wonderful. It is magical. 

** I do not own the pictures.